Saturday, September 15, 2012

Loving you...

I'm sitting here in your hospital room, watching you sleep. Listening to the hum of the machine that's working to keep your newly implanted knee moving and to help ease your pain. I can hear your breathing and watch your chest rise and fall with every breath. I see the oxygen hose hooked to your beautiful face. A strong face, a strong man. I know you feel weak and possibly a little broken. I want you to know that you are not broken, just taking a time out from your crazy busy life to heal and mend yourself to make your body stronger.

I am here for you. I will carry the load for both of us, because your arms need rest. I will work to be strong for both of us to give your mind body and soul time to breath. We have been through so much, I'm sure with many more challenges, trials and triumphs ahead. Although I no longer believe in a perfect, flawless love...I believe in you and me. I believe you find perfection through the imperfections. A perfect love is what you make it to be.

Love is protecting one another, putting ourselves on the line to give the other what they need.  Love is me explaining to the doctors how they are not meeting my expectations in caring for the man in room 318, who happens to be the beginning and end of my entire world. Today I felt raw love for you as I did my best to grasp onto the idea, that in a facility of specialists and experts, we hear a lot of 'I don't knows'. As  I did my best to hide my tears, my mind and pride lost the battle to my heart and soul as they came pouring down.

I see the worry in your eyes as you grabbed my hand and squeezed to say 'it will be alright'. I'm sorry I added to your struggle today. Love to me is putting it on all the line when you need it most. I am here for you. I will carry the load for both of us, not only because I love you wth every depth of my being. But because I know you would do the same for me and have. I will never stop fighting for you, fighting for our boys and fighting for us. I will never stand for you getting second rate treatment when you deserve nothing but the best. 

I love the man you are, and I love how by just being in your presence I feel like a better person. You make me want to be better, give more, do more and to never settle. I will never stop wanting you, I will never stop needing you, I will never stop loving you in our wonderful, beautiful, imperfect life.

Forever, for always and no matter what.

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