Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Back that a$$ up!

Alright, so for those that know me, I'm not real shy about tooting my own horn. Which is in my DNA..I'm the youngest child and born on April Fool's Day which basically means I'm a rock star. Yes, really. 

Here are my facts....

BKRB reads the plates on my Harley. Stands for BIKER BITCH...or Biker Babe as far as the DMV is concerned.

MrsJekl reads the plates on my car. Stands for...I'm married to Mr. Hyde so stay the hell out of my way. Ü

Then today, another small miracle to show I really can do anything I put my mind too.

Cory is taking my nephew to buy an old car in Orem. He needed the trailer at my Dad's house to pick it up..because lets be real, Cory doesn't buy anything that runs. (Cory - if you're reading this...I LOVE YOU ♥) I offered to go and get the trailer for Cory since my Dad would be there and could hook it up for me. Piece of cake, right? Wrong.

Dad wasn't there. Hmmm..what to do, what to do. I thought to myself -  I pull a trailer fine, I can take the boat out with my girlies and survive. So how hard can it be to put a hitch on a truck, back it up, hook it up and tow it home by myself? I don't usually have a lot of fear of trying new things, and I've seen Cory do this a million times...I can do this.

First thing, I go and find some gloves. I mean, I may be a bad ass but I AM a lady. I don't play in grease. Once gloved, I back the truck up pretty close and it takes me a few times of backing up then checking, backing up then checking. Then tada! I did it :) Once I decided I've hooked everything I can, I make two calls. One to Dad and one to Cory, two reasons. #1- To make sure I did it right #2 - So they both EQUALLY can be impressed with my skills. Ü This is where it gets entertaining...I'm not real sure of the technical names of all the parts I've just connected, so here is the conversation and description that made both of the men in my life laugh....enjoy.

  • Ok, so I made sure the cranky thing was all the way up so the truck wouldn't hit it when I was backing it up. 
  • Then I got the hitch out of the garage and stuck it in the hole in the back of the truck. 
  • I put the big pin-ey thing through the hole and pulled the tab out so it wouldn't fall out. 
  • I backed the truck up and did the cranky thing down until it dropped on the ball. 
  • I pulled the tab and slide the shaft of the trailer over the ball thing. (Yes, I said shaft and ball in the same sentence. I may be 10 years old but they were the first words that came to mind.)
  • I cranked the cranky thing and pulled it up so it wasn't on the ground then pinned the cranky thing.
  • I plugged in the trailer brakes
  • I put the chains on the holes by the hitch under the truck
  • Last, I pulled the blocks from under the tires
SUCCESS! What I didn't tell them is after I hung up, I looked at my work. All by myself, standing in my parents drive way I did a dance. Like the kind of dance football players do after a touchdown and sang 

'Back that ass up, show me whatca workin with!' Who cares that it was in 100 degree weather, sweat dripping from all angles, hair a mess with plastic gloves on. I was a hot mess and proud of it!

If you're not convinced by now that I am a total bad ass...start back up at the top and repeat until you do. 

I mean, I proclaimed I'd have a manager job within a year of being an assistant and POOF! It happened! (Please note this is a very sarcastic remark made for specific people who may or may not read this blog. I hope they enjoyed it)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Star Valley 2012

We headed up to my parents home away from home over the 4th of July and broke in the trailer. (Not how one would normally like to break in  a trailer) Nonetheless, we had FuN!

The drive was a bit long for two unruly little boys, who should've slept longer, and after a couple wrong turns and a detour, we arrived alive on Tuesday night. 

My parents own a lot at the Star Valley RV Resort where they park the Pent House of trailers they own. Seriously, this thing is nicer than most starter homes. Which equals a recipe for disaster if little hands aren't watched at all times. They  have a beautiful set up complete with a patio, golf cart, shed, ice makers, fire pit, planted flowers in pots, tube lighting for decor, a kennel for their pups, covered tent for their grill, you name it they have it. The park itself has a beautiful golf course, swimming pool and bumper boats. 

I loved to tease my Dad about the people who all live in the park. They all drive by the lots in golf carts and wave like it's Mayberry. Then, after they waive they tell you all about how that guy's a jerk and that lady is so nosy! 

I said to my Dad, 'So really it's like gangs. Do your golf carts have colors? Like the Bloods and the Crypts?' He didn't share my amusement, but I was cracking myself up. They have parties and you're cool if you get an invite and plan to take out their flower beds if you don't. Ok, maybe I made that last part up, but I could totally see it. 

We spent a lot of hours walking while the kids rode their bikes all over and Jayden proceeded to show me 'Look Ma, no hands!' after several almost crashes and several near heart failures, I decided that he wasn't going that fast and hey, if he crashed, maybe it'd slow him down for 5 minutes. (Yes I actually thought that and Yes I know GOD heard...don't worry, were besties and he still loves me)

We also went swimming where I learned that while working 45+ hours a week, my kids learned to swim. They are swim maniacs and LOVE it. It was pure torture to take Casey out of the pool which included a massive break down and total hysterical fit with kicking and all. FUN!

My parents fed us breakfast and dinner everyday and it was delicious. There is something about having food like the kind you had all your adolescent life that just makes you feel good. I've heard the saying 'Nobody does it like Mom' and this is definitely the case with my Mom. LOVED it. As usual, they stocked their cooler with Coke for Cory, Smirnoff Ice for me and pop for the kids. SPOILED ROTTEN. 

I also learned I love a new drink called a Lime a Rita from Bud Light. I HATE margaritas and beer but apparently I love a Lime A Rita on a hot summer day. Yes there were times I wasn't drinking on this vacation. Just not many of them! I would also like to point out to the non drinkers who are judging me right now. You CAN in fact enjoy a few drinks without becoming SMASHED. 

On one attempt to entertain the kids, we headed up a dirt road to Gray's River just outside Alpine, WY. The kids spent hours throwing rocks, which apparently is a fascinating thing to do as a young boy. And peeing in a river..because what's NOT fun about whipping out a wiener and peeing in the wide open country? I wouldn't know, but it sent my boys into seventh heaven.  

Casey had to find every large boulder that weighed at least as much as him if not more. Some didn't make it over his head and one actually made it into his brother's back.

We stopped in Jackson Hole for an hour or so. Long enough to walk another 5 miles and to get the boys some wolf and bear shirts then some lunch. Here they are patiently waiting for the pizza. I'd love to just strangle them, but seriously...take a look at those faces. I mean let's have a moment of silence to recognize Cory and I may have birthed the cutest children EVER. (really I did 95% of the work, right??!)

We took this picture several years ago when Jayden was just a baby and he looks about this happy. I'm not sure what they're looking at her, but I'd be willing to bet it's interesting!

Alright, maybe that handsome husband of mine had something to do with the cuteness of our children. He's pretty much a HOTTIE! (which leads me back to how I'd really like to break in the trailer ;)

I'd like to point out Jayden's ability to strike a pose in this shot. Not too shabby for a camera phone, I feel like I was really able to capture the mood of these wild children standing with their nature bear mother. 

We really did have a great time, although tiring. These last pictures really show how we all felt at the end of our vacation. Poor Addie baby girl...she's getting up there in years and isn't used to all that walking. Her hips have been bugging her :( I'm going to go ahead and ignore that fact and pretend like she's still my 2 yr old bear cub puppy. 

This is how she looked most of the trip, when I wasn't dragging her around on gravel and pavement. At one point she actually sat down in the road in the middle of the walk and if dogs could talk, she'd say 'Eff you Mom. I'm NOT walking one more foot!' 

Jayden was in mid sentence asking Cory about bears...where are the bears? will they eat us? would they eat Addie? If there were a bear would you run Dad? Would you jump in front of a bear to save me and Casey Dad? What do bears smell like? Have you seen a bear? Then there was silence and I looked behind my seat to find my wild bear wrestler passed out cold with his drink in his mouth. Ü

I'm glad we got to spend some time with my parents, with working full time and them spending weekends in Star Valley, we don't get to see them a lot. My kids love to spend time with Grandpa Gary and Ma Jo, Jayden especially. He'd sneak away for some alone time with his grandparents any chance he got. He feels like a grown up when he can hang with them.

We did come home to our air conditioner broke AGAIN. It was a whopping 92 degrees in our house for over 24 hours. After a long drive, and coming home to that kind of heat, I thought I just may strangle someone. They came out and replaced a part and we're back in business and no one was injured.

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