Monday, May 21, 2012

Feeding America

Well it feels like I'm feeding America sometimes with certain neighbor kids. SERIOUSLY!!

Before I continue on with this story, let's back it up a bit. I started a new job today, one that I've worked extremely hard for. I sacrificed time away from my husband and kids, worked countless hours to prove that I EARNED this title. So, I headed out the door today, excited for my new opportunity and pretty much killed the day. I owned it, and survived it. Needless to say, with my sleepless night before thinking about how said day would go..I am a little exhausted.

After a few bumps on the way home, and I mean figuratively not literally ~ I made it to the driveway. No sooner to realize there are kids bikes in my parking spot, the ONE parking spot in our 3 car garage that is reserved for Mrs. Jekl.

Kimberli = Mrs. Jekl

Irritated a little, exhaustion related? Sure. Moving on. Walk in the house to find Jayden and his friend salivating at the mouth and without a single 'Welcome home Mom!' I get bombarded with 'Can we have something to eat? Can have a drink? Can we have a snack? How many snacks can WE have? Huh huh huh!!'


Yes, you can each have ONE snack. Of course, unlike episodes of Leave it to Beaver where the Mrs. Cleaver happily whips up a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies to serve all the boys, mine are store bought. Just as filling and 4x the cost. Out skips little said friend with two bags of chips in her hand. 

'Ms. Kimberli...may I have TWO bags of cookies??'


'NO! You can have ONE bag of cookies!'

Then another knock at the door, another little 'friend' coming to join the feeding frenzy. Because if one has a cookie, they all have to have effin cookies. 

To repay me for my kind donations, they take my precious 2.5 year old baby and proceed to torture him on the trampoline. While one is bouncing him up to the high heavens, the other is keeping watch and the third waits until he falls ~ then jumps on him. After three times yelling at Jayden, I run outside in my shoe-less, nylon covered feet, pants half unbuttoned as I had been attempting to get in my comfy clothes. 

I point to the trampoline, 

'Girls, time to go HOME!' 

'Jayden to your room!'


I mean are all kids like that? Do YOU feed the neighbor kids? I told Jayden if he ever walked into someones house and asked for food, he'd better ask for an ambulance too, because he'd get a whoopin! It's expensive enough feeding MY kids, let alone half the neighborhood! 

(Ok, two kids obviously don't make up HALF the neighborhood..but I'm upset so work with me.)

Then to top it off, I got the pleasure of picking up all the little shits darlings cookie wrappers in my backyard.


You would think when we walk around the yard with our Star Wars masks on, other parents would be afraid to let their kids come over. Guess we'll have to think of a new plan. 

**This post was composed entirely under the influence of cold Smirnoff Ice and drowning myself in chips and salsa**


Amber said...

Yes I get the feeding the neighborood thing. Don't keep your food storage or soda in the garage either becuase this somehow means that you can in fact feed the entire neighborhood. :)

Kallie said...

I feel your pain! I love when the neighbor kids that live right next door ask for a drink. I tell them all the time "run home and get a drink!" Annoying! Love that my kids have friends to play with, but often wonder if it is worth the trouble? Your posts make me laugh!

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