Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Just Deal with It

As we're all sitting around the table having dinner tonight, we're having our usual discussion....

How was your day?

Even though 9 times out of 10, we all answer the same

Cory 'It was a long day'
Me 'It was good'
Jayden 'Good.'

Then we all discuss what we had for lunch. This tradition started 5.5 years ago when I was staying home with Jayden. Starved for Adult attention, when Cory would walk in the door I would literally attack him and tell him

'Tell me EVERY detail about your day, who did you talk too, what were they wearing and where did you go for lunch.'

I don't know why that intrigued me, but apparently knowing where he went and what he had to eat fulfilled my daily withdrawals for the outside world. As the years went by, it's always been a question I ask Cory everyday. Anyway, I digress.

Along with the normal convo, Jayden adds...

'Someone was mean to me today.'

Excuse me? I can feel my Momma Bear instincts starting to ignite inside me. A small, warm feeling that I do my best to keep under control until I hear what is going on.

I ask Jayden what happened.

'Well....' As he's flipping his hand around absent mindlessly like a 30 year old female gossiping with girlfriends. 'Jake was being mean and pushed me down the slide. We're supposed to wait until the person in front of us gets to the bottom, but he didn't Mom! I hurt the person in front of me and it wasn't my fault!'

'Then, I tried to be nice and let him in the middle of the line with me instead of the back of the line but NO, he pushed me down instead.'

Jayden never offers up a lot of information about Kindergarten, I decide to tread carefully into my response. If I just dismiss it as kids being kids, maybe he won't tell me things like that anymore. If I take it too strong, he'll back off and think he's in trouble. Again, the edition of Parenting for Idiots would be greatly appreciated here!


'Well, what do you do when someone's being mean Jayden?'

'Well.' He sighs and leans his head in his hand and appears to be in deep thought about his response as well. 'I can't tell the teacher, because tattle telling isn't very nice. Um, I guess I'll just deal with it Mom.'

I'm not sure how sometimes when I'm talking to a 5 year old it can feel as though I'm talking to a 20 year old ~ But with Jayden, it often does.

'I don't think you have to just deal with it Jayden, but you're right. Tattling isn't good all the time either. Daddy, what do you think?'

As I look to my husband, he's giving me a look and after 6 years of marriage, I can read his mind completely. He's thinking...you can ask me what I think, but I doubt you'll like what I have to say.

Kick his ass Jade!

So, moving on from Daddy's thoughts before he gives him that advice. I did not want Jayden to have an excuse to have a fight at school.

'Alright, how about if someone is mean to you, ask them to stop. If they don't, then go tell Mrs. Brewer. That way you can give them a chance to stop before you go and get help.'

'Ok Mom.'

Simple as that, it was over.

One of the reasons I love having dinner together at the table every night, is that no matter how many nights of the same conversations that we've had a thousand times before or when we don't feel like talking and we sit in silence, sometimes we even yell to stop yelling at each other. But every now and then, our children remember dinner time is a time to talk. Mom and Dad will always listen and always be there for them. I want our kitchen table to be a safe place where they can tell us about whats going on in their life.

If you can't feel safe and loved at home, where can you?

1 comment:

Kallie said...

I always laugh as I read your posts! I do the same thing to Bryce when he gets home, I think it drives him crazy....Jayden is so funny, he is right you just deal with it. Something he will have to learn throughout school. My son informed me on Friday he got his first FYI. He kicked the boy in front of him in line, because the boy kept putting his bum on him. I told him he should have told the teacher, but he said the teacher wasn't out there. So he did what he does, and took it into his own hands. What am I going to do with him?

 
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