Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Laxin...

It's been awhile since I posted an edition of Jayden~ism. So here's the latest.


I came home last Saturday to the usual, Cory working in the garage on one of his latest projects while Casey finishes his nap.


'Hey there, sexy mechanic working magic..where's your kidlets?'


'Casey is nappin and Jade's inside watching T.V.'


With that, I headed inside. I opened our bedroom door and found Jayden.


I'm hoping my literary skills will allow me to describe to you one of the funniest/scariest moments in my mother history.


There on our bed was our 5 year old laying in ALL his glory. Arms behind his head, leggs crossed Indian style in nothing but his spidey tighty whities with his little 5 year old 'junk' hanging out the left side. To complete the package, his face was covered in chocolate with wrappers lying as the evidence all around him and a bucket of chocolate from the pantry.


'Um, Jayden. What are you doing?'


Laaaxxxiiiinnnn Mom.'


'Where would your clothes be?'


'Ova der, I gots paint on them'


'Why is there chocolate all over your face?'


With that he raised his hands from his head and told me 'I needed a snack mom.' While I contemplated how angry I was that he'd gotten into too much candy and completely violated our bed, my attention was brought to the tiny bald spot on his head. I'm fairly certain it did not look that way when I left for work that morning.


'Jayden...what exactly happened to your hair?'


'Mom...don't be mad k ~ I had gum in my hair so I pulled it out.'


He tells me all matter of factly. I said, 'Hmmm...looks like it was a pretty clean cut. Where did you cut your hair at??'


With a look of complete guilt he sighs and says 'I cut it in your kitchen Mom.'


'Where is your hair now?'


'In your kitchen on the floor with gum stuck in it!'


Sigh....Jayden we DO NOT cut our own hair, right?


'Right.'


'Then why did you do that?'


He gives me the most widely used reason by every child know to man. The all inclusive, ever ready response that drives mother's completely insane!


'I...don't.....know.'


Well great, why you are pondering all the reasons you NEVER choose to listen and ALWAYS choose to make your own decisions, which undoubtedly always get you in trouble...I will head to the kitchen to locate the missing hair ball joined with sticky gum that you shouldn't have been eating in the first freakin place!


Needless to say, here is the process of fixing his hair creation.



4 comments:

Jani said...

Oh my, You really do have your hand full! Thanks for the laughs. I think you need a diet coke or maybe something a little stronger Ü

Kallie said...

That is hilarious! At least he is a boy, the hair cut can be fixed a lot easier with a boy. He is 5 going on 16. Just takes care of things on his own, very independent.

allycupe said...

laxin' sounds like a perfect word for what he was doing! such a boy.

Nyree said...

Oh my word... That seriously made my day!! That is hilarous!! Even more so since I'm not the mother!

 
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