Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The ever infamous.....BUTT DIALER

I've been off work for the last week with the kids while Cory was gone. I neglected to change my voicemail at work to say the dates I'd be away and to let members know I wouldn't be returning phone calls.

Back in the saddle this morning, I'm listening to messages. 2 from the same member frantic that I haven't returned his calls to solidify his car loan before he goes out of town, 1 hang up and then 1 message that will be forever engraved in my mind.

I hear some footsteps, a weird rustle and then a very clear sound of someone peeing. You know it's a man because of how loud the peeing is. I'm thinking to myself, oh dear! I thought that'd be the worst of it..butt no!

I continue to listen, (why not I thought to myself!) It was rather intriguing. I was thinking maybe I'd hear him say 'Oh Shit!' when he realized the phone had called me. Butt no! Instead, the urine fountain had finished, you can hear the toilet flush, a rustle again which I'm assuming is the zipper from B.D.'s pants (Butt Dialer)

Then, something horrific and hysterical happened. There is a brief moment of silence...then...

RRRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP......the loudest freakin fart EVER recorded on a answering machine. I mean, the phone had to be in this guys back pocket or he may have had to check his pants after that bodily function!

I was shocked, I let out a gasp of laughter and disbelief all at the same time. I could just imagine this guy after a nice long pee, walking to the door of whatever bathroom he was at, pausing and lifting his leg for some much needed relief thinking he was all alone!

Now, I did what any self respecting person would do. I checked the caller ID. It was the same member who had called me two times before that! Then, I did the second best thing and let everyone in my office listen to it! There is no way people would believe me without hearing this! Then, I forwarded it to several peoples voice mails at AFCU! Ü

Let me tell you, as soon as I figure out how to record it onto my cell phone then post in on my blog... it will be done. So, let this be a lesson to all of us. By all means before you enter any toilet facility, or think you might be alone to 'relieve' yourself...always and I mean ALWAYS check to ensure you haven't BUTT DIALED your loan officer!!

Ha ha ha ha...yes I'm still laughing.


Melissa, Benton, and Cambree said...

Lol, that's hilarious! I would have loved sitting next to you when you got that message! I will definitely make sure my phone is off while going to the restroom :)

Kallie said...

Oh my heck, that is great!! I always worry what someone will hear when I accidentally butt dial, I will not be more careful to check my phone. That would be so embarrassing! Thanks for sharing, made me smile this morning.

Amber said...

That is the funniest thing. I laughed out loud reading that. Thanks for always providing a little humor!

Kallie said...

I meant to say I will be more careful to check my phone! oops :)

Jani said...

Priceless! Oh the fun members we get to work with! I dare you to tell him about it when you close his loan!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh my god that is so funny! I think everyone should butt dial more often

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