Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Phantom Attacks.

It's been almost a week since school has been out and it's been so nice not having homework, although, I must say the strangest thing has been happening.

We're watching T.V. the other night and all of sudden I panicked, thinking 'I have to get my paper posted!' Then I breathe for a minute and realize, 'I don't have school anymore'. Saturday at work, I was pulling out of the parking lot and the same thing happened. It's like that same gut wrenching feeling like I don't have enough time to do everything or I'm forgetting something I have to do.

A few months ago at work, we watched the video of the guy who got trapped in southern Utah and had to amputate his own arm off to escape. (No, we don't amputate arms off at work) He talked about after healing that he would experience phantom arm pains. His brain was telling his body there was something still attached and send signals of pain to his head.

Now, I realize homework and the loss of body parts are extremely opposite on the ends of the spectrum but the idea itself is what I'm talking about. I think my brain and body are so used to functioning in high stress, a ton to do and not much time to do it in, I haven't quite figured out how to relax just yet.

We're still busy, we just finished t-ball last night and are getting ready for summer boating, camping trips, yard work and working full time. I just don't have to worry about school on top of that.

I think I will always operate under stress. I'm constantly rushing,

-To work each morning to make sure I'm not late
-Rush on lunch to run errands or shove food down my throat to get back to cover the branch
-Rushing to get those last minute loan app's in before closing
-Rush home from work to get the kids from babysitter
-Rush home from work to have enough time for dinner with the family before bedtime
-Rush to my nail appointments
-Rush to get Jayden to and from summer camp

Always in a hurry. Hopefully, after a few weeks of being out of school my body will learn to function with a little less stress and stop having phantom panic attacks.

What about YOU? What things do you stress about each day?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

FREE at LaSt!

Just a quick note to end this WONDERFUL day.

I attended my LAST class to obtain my bachelor's degree. LAST class.

I walked through the doors two years ago to finish what I started over 8 years ago. Nervous, unsure of my decision and what it would me or me and my family.

Sacrifice...Hard Work...Frustration...Tears....Growth...Pride.

There are no words to express the satisfaction in knowing that I set a goal and with severe determination, I achieved it. Even with obstacles in front of me and when others questioned why, I accomplished it.


As I read over this post, I need to make a correction. Cory gave up so much for me to do this, time, money and patience. Even though it tested our marriage, he supported me. So, I'll end this post with these three words:


Saturday, June 12, 2010

Baby Horoscopes

My mom and I were talking the other day about how sensitive Casey is. It seems like if we raise our voice or tell him 'NO' it's followed by big alligator tears and a huge bottom lip. She made the comment that is a sign of Leo. Which got me interested. So, I looked!

Turns out Casey is on the cusp of Cancer ~ Leo, here's a little of both that seemed to fit him well.

As a Water sign, the Cancer baby is likely to be more emotional than most. In a word: tears! This baby will probably cry a fair bit, so holding and touching are of paramount importance -- really anything to achieve comfort. The Leo Baby is, above all else, loud! Forget sleep for the foreseeable future, Mom and Dad. This is a baby who must be heard and will certainly let everyone in their midst know what they want. Think center of attention, since there really is no other way for this tot! The Leo baby adores an audience, so it should come as no surprise that many of these tots go on to become stars of stage and screen

Casey struggled so much with sleeping through the night. Always wanting to be held. We just barely reached a full month of mostly sleeping through the nights, at it took until he was 10 1/2 months old. Casey loves an audience, if he thinks others are watching he gives an adorable grin and especially when the camera comes out. He is a snuggly baby and love to suck on a soft, fuzzy blanket. No Binky's.

Jaydens was a bit more off. He's also on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn. Here is what they said:

The Capricorn baby has a plan from day one and will definitely stick to it! A bit on the serious side, this is a child who is disciplined, methodical, and highly organized to boot. Is this really a child?! Well, yes and no. As with everything, the Cap baby will be hyper-focused and determined. Above all, the Sag baby loves to explore, whether it's a new toy or a new friend. No fear here! This kid is a sponge, soaking it all up with relish.
As most of you know, Jayden is hyper active ~ sassy ~ stubborn ~ competitive ~ smart ~ thinks he's 21 and can do whatever his parents do. Even though most nights we go to bed shaking our heads and wondering what we'll do with him, he is infectious and has taken over our lives with love.
Here's the site if your interested!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The World Around Me..

It seems like more and more these days, I'm hearing the people I care about stress about finances. Some are extremely close to me, family and friends. Others are the members I help at work each day.

As I listen to the worries about how to make ends meet, which bills to pay first the house or the car? How to get groceries on the table, even where the next paycheck will come truly breaks my heart. If I had to put it into one word, that word would be:


Cory and I aren't rich by any means and we'd be a lot richer if our need for nice and shiny things didn't take over our lives every now and again. We're blessed that we both have stable, good paying jobs. We've noticed our share of the economy. Cory used to bring home about 10-15 hours a week of overtime home each week and it's been just over a year since we've seen that. It's starting to pick up a bit. That sacrifice is no where near what others are going through.

I find myself day dreaming about winning the lottery. What it would feel like to lift that burden off those that I love. Maybe I would take them to dinner and present them with a check for enough to pay off every bill they have. Or maybe, I'd just tell the tellers at the credit union to payoff all their loans and put the rest into their savings and just let them be surprised. That would be a great day.

All I can do is be a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear for now. I hope that is enough. I hope these people can see that everything happens for a reason, I truly believe God doesn't give us more weight than he knows we can bear. That when all else fails and the world turns it's back on these people, I will ALWAYS be there.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


The Green's 2010
Two men & a BaBy.

America's Next Top Model.

We went into JCP's to get some pictures for Diane's (Mutha In Law) birthday. Shanna was introduced into the 'can't get a good picture because someones crying, puking or you have sweat pouring down your forehead from stressing about a good picture'
Casey is showing signs of a mean streak where every time we put him next to Maizey for a picture, he'd pinch her or grab a handful of her hair. Personally, I think it's hair envy.
I also decided, I'm not a fan of getting pictures taken with my model like sister in law. Here she is all stressed, having hot flashes and then the camera comes out and it's like wind came out of no where to blow back her perfect hair and spot lights hit her face so her complexion has a beautiful glow.
I get ready for the picture and notice that Jayden has his finger in his nose, his tie is sideways and I'm pretty sure Casey farted.
My armpits were sweaty and I'm just concentrating on producing a somewhat natural smile. Where the hell were my natural winds?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sissy Love

First and foremost...So glad to be back! I know I promised pictures, they're still coming. For now, you'll have to deal with words and form your own mental pictures. But quite frankly, that might be disturbing for this post Ü

For those of you who don't know, I have two siblings...sisters. I'm the all glamorous baby, 6 years separate me and the middle child and 9 years separates me and the Elderly oldest. Occasionally, we have our disagreements and always, no matter what, we have the Kellerstrass Grapevine which includes our Mother and us three girls. It doesn't matter who knows what or if you tell one not to tell the other, we hang up with one on the phone and auto dial the other.

It's almost like a disease and we can't control it. At least that's what we tell our spouses.

There are even sometimes, like today, where we skip the middle man and chat all together, whether conference call on the telephone or cc each other on e-mail. Usually a lot of laughter and sometimes swearing is involved. Today was through e-mail and both occurred.

I don't remember what started the conversation but we ended up talking about how the middle child (MC) thinks she'll always be the fat sister, I know I will always be the zitty sister (thanks Dad) and we tease EC (elderly) that she is the bitchy one.

So, MC sends a picture of a bottle of pop and like 6 ice cream sandwiches to show you they had equal amount of sugar and how she is craving the ice cream sandwiches. Then we proceed to talk about how she is struggling with her weight and to top it off, she had a big zit on her chin. The kind where people talk to the zit instead of your face. You know those days where you just feel plain CRAPPY?

So I do what sisters should...we build each other up. Tell me what you think of my pep talk.

'MC, just so you know for almost being 35, having 5 kids, you are one HOT MOMMA'

So hot, I would TOTALLY hit on you.

Well, if we weren't sisters and I was into chicks, but other than that, I would TOTALLY be into you.'

Then EC decided to chime in, 'MC, me too...TOTALLY!'

There is nothing like the magical world of SISSY LOVE.
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