Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Grandpa Earle



Yesterday I took my grandpa dinner, he had some surgery done and also has a broken leg. I thought it was a great excuse to introduce him to Casey. He LOVES babies! We had a nice visit and Jayden was able to bounce of the walls while we did. I always say I need to be better at visiting Grandpa, months go by before I make it out there and someday soon I will regret the missed opportunities! He's a sweet man and I'm glad he's feeling better. We love you Grandpa!

Boating

Cory showing off!
Aren't we CUTE!?

Dad second guessing his decision to water ski!


Last weekend we took the boat out for 'adults' trip. With the exception of little Casey. We headed to Echo in the afternoon last Saturday, aside from the bugs it was a great time. I finally got to wake board (yes I did manage to get up once, but not for long!) we mostly played in the tube and my father managed to scare the daylights out of me! Cory did great on the wakeboard as always and we laughed so hard my stomach hurt (ok, everything hurt) the next day!

Casey Update

I thought it was time for an update from the crazy mother! Casey is doing good, still sleepy during the day and fussy at night. Saturday night he went to bed at 11 pm, woke up at 1:30 am and wouldn't go back to sleep! Finally at 4:30 am I told Cory I was putting him in the car seat and going for a drive, worked like a charm! He slept in his car seat all buckled in until 7 am! I only had to drive to Roy and back and then I just kept in our room in his seat. (I'm sure that's fine...right?!) As I drove around with no other cars to be seen, I kept looking at all the houses with their lights out and said (outloud) 'I bet those kids are sleeping Casey!'

Last night was a little better, he slept from 10 pm - 1:30 am, nursed and went back to sleep until 4:30 am. He was awake until 5 or so and then slept until 7:30. Hopefully, we're getting a little closer to normal!

I went to my check up today, apparently I'm a chocolate mess however. I have a mild case of pink eye in both eyes, no sleep and told the doc I need a RX of happy pills to get me through! He happily obliged and said 'we all need a little pick me up sooner or later' I felt like telling him my pick me up's are usually in the form of Pina Coladas! Ü So, they sent me on my way with my prescriptions.

I start school again tonight, so hopefully Daddy will be ok for 4 hours on his own. Casey takes two bottles a day of breast milk/formula mixture so it should be fine...or so I hope.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

First Day of School

Doing a puzzle waiting for Mom
Making friends

Not sure where the Cheese Smile came from!
Yesterday Jayden started his first day at Christian Heritage. He is in the Pre-3 class and goes Mon/Wed/Fri 8:30 -11:30 and his teacher is Mrs. Candy. He has been really excited to go all month long and woke up in a good mood (unusual for my son) we talked to daddy and both grandmas on the way to school to tell him good luck. His excitement started to dwindle as we headed down the hallway to his classroom, then he got really nervous as we walked in the room. I figured it was like pulling off a band aid..just do it quick and leave him be. He squeezed my hand and didn't want to let go but a really nice teacher aid saw him struggling and walked him over by the crafts. I used that as a opportunity to make my escape, I only got a little tearful as I walked down the hallway with Casey to leave. He did great and told me when I picked him up that I should get a school like his, because it is WAY FUN MOM! Mrs. Candy told me he did great and they have a super class this year. I'm glad he enjoyed it, he needed a break from irritable mom and new brother to have some Jayden time! We love you Jayden and are so proud of all you do!



Monday, August 17, 2009

Casey

Bright Eyes
He was a little bottom heavy..slidding down the bouncy chair
Brother Bath Time
Another sleepless night...

Confessions of a new mom...

I bet you all thought that my pity party posts would be over by now, right?! Wrong! Let me share some more..
I don't remember getting post partum depression with Jayden, but I'm pretty sure I have just a 'touch' of it this time. I'm really struggling with nursing Casey, he is such a great nurser..it is all his mom this time. It seems so funny, with Jayden all I wanted him to do was nurse and he fought me so hard on it and with Casey - all he wants to do is nurse and I just can't seem to find that same connection I had with Jayden. I'm not sure if it's because I'm being selfish and just want my body back, after 9 months of pregnancy and all the trauma of delivery and now being tied to nursing EVERY two hours.
To make matters worse, I had a really sore clogged duct that about killed me every time he would eat...seriously felt like hot liquid magma. With some help from my sister and a special blessing I was able to work through that, now just for continuing with nursing. I fight back and forth with it, I nursed Jayden until he was 6 months old and if I don't do that with Casey, am I taking away from him? There have been a lot of tears and hours spent pondering, so I decided yesterday 'That's it! I'm done!' I gave him formula all day yesterday and pumped (just not as often, getting ready to bind them up) Well, last night he had such an upset stomach that he was up ALL night long.
So - I have a fussy baby that I made that way from switching his diet, a husband who is upset in the bed because he has to get up at 4:30 am and is getting no sleep and I have no sleep which makes me very impatient with Jayden in the morning. All I want is to be back to NORMAL with our two boys!
Cory doesn't think it's fair that I stop nursing so early, especially with Casey's belly. He never spit up breast milk - but that's all he does with formula. As I laid in bed early this morning, I succumbed to my guilt and latched Casey on. It made me cry, he nuzzled right into me and his whole body relaxed and his eyes closed while he nursed away. (Yes, I'm crying while I type this!) It's so obvious what he needs..what he needs is ME and my body for awhile.
Sometimes the hardest thing about being a mom is making the right decision, no matter how hard or what we give up to do so. It makes me feel like a disappointment to great mom's out there who just give and give with no questions or concern for themselves. I'm not sure why it's so hard for me, I've never been one of those 'natural mother's' whom others envy.
I guess all I can do is be the best mom I know how to be and hope that is enough for Jayden and Casey. Laurie thinks it's too early to decide to be done with kids, but I can tell you right now, two is all for me! Why on earth would I want to torture another little soul?!

Thanks for listening...I'll post some latest pictures so it isn't all sob story on the blog today.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Green Update..

Aunt Laurie introducing Casey to Alison

Sneezing
Post Sneeze
Some first time Smiles
Things are going well again at the Green house! Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts that were sent my way. I did finally find my WEDDING RING!!! It was at the top of my closet where I throw my purses that aren't in use, under several purses. So - now I have a organized closet AND my ring! (Yes, I cried when I found it)
I've been seeing a Chiropractor for my back, it turns out that I have a part of my lower spine fused to my Sacrum (butt bone). From pushing during delivery it flared up and that is what is causing all of the pain. I've had it since birth, it just has taken this long to make itself known. The dr said if I had been overweight or not in good shape (thanks Dr, we all know how 'in shape' we feel after giving birth!) that I would've noticed a lot sooner. He was surprised I didn't have this pain with Jayden but it is very common and with 90 days of therapy will hopefully be better. I already feel 100% better than where I was. Some days are better than others but at least I can function as well as take some rest when needed.
Casey is doing good, he is usual newborn and sleeping all day and awake all night! We pretty much look like zombies Ü He LOVES to eat, about every two hours and sometimes more than that. His cheeks are nice and round, his lower region has healed nicely and his cord should be falling off any day. He loves to have his hair washed in the sink with really warm water, his eyes kind of go crossed eyed like he's in a trance! He had a case of gas and fire poops that left him with a red bum :( Other than that things are looking good as we head into week 3 with a newborn + toddler. We have a dr appt on Thursday for a check up and some shots, not my favorite part at all.
Again- thank you for all the dinners, calls, e-mails and offers to clean my house (yes, Laurie, Melissa and my mom all offered, my poor mother won and spent a morning sweating over my house..Love you Mommy!!) I'm so lucky to have such caring and thoughtful friends and family. It means the world to our family. It's nice to see light at the end of the tunnel of such a long, scary and painful two weeks.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Post Partum Blues...

Where to begin...I've already posted about my delivery excitement with my epidural, apparently that wasn't the end.
My headaches are gone, and on to the back pains. Over the last three days I've had severe lower back pain. The kind that keeps you from bending down to get things, or twisting - even sitting down hurts. When I sit in the chair or car, I get shooting pains down my legs and when I stand up I get what feel like spasms from my lower back down through my thighs. The doctor said it is somewhat normal from my blood patch and should peak then start to get better. Well, I guess that goes for smart people who lay down all day when they are in pain. Mine has just gotten worse. I have a very difficult time laying down all day, so I've done some light laundry and I sit on the couch to 'relax'. It doesn't help that Casey is a GREAT nursing baby -every two hours!
So today, I hit my low. I just couldn't believe how much pain I was still in and it makes me frustrated that I can't take care of my family. Cory has been telling me to lay down for three days, I don't know why it's so hard. I look around my house and see all the things I do every week just sitting and it literally sends chills up my spine ;) I HATE IT! I don't like asking for help and I already feel like my husband is going above and beyond. So with tears today, I cancelled the visitors who had planned to stop by and I started back on pain pills and laid on my bed with a heating pad...what a difference! My spasms stopped, it still is sore but along with the pain meds much better. To make matters worse, I've lost my wedding ring. Yes, LOST. I couldn't wear it for the last month or so and the last place I remember having it is on the way home from our pictures in the car. It was a VERY expensive ring and VERY sentimental of course and I can't find it anywhere. So as I lay down for my back, in between nursing and explaining to Jayden why mommy can't go play I have panic attacks about never finding my ring again. I'm pretty sure it's things like this that drive people to insanity. I'm holding on and thanks to wonderful family members, friends and neighbors bringing dinners in - my husband is still eating.
So, here's to laying in bed and accepting help. Laurie is taking Jayden for some time tomorrow and all day on Monday. My mom is helping Tues/Wed/Thurs and Cory will be home on Friday. I can't wait until I get back to myself and clean, cook and do the things I like to do. Maybe even get to water ski behind our boat before the fall. I keep having nightmares that my back will never feel better, I have no idea how people function with constant back pain. I guess I take for granted my health everyday that I was able to get up and go, play with Jayden, run errands, even something simple as bending down to shave my legs. I will never again take those things for granted because it's so impairing not being able to do them. Most of you know that I'm not a real religious person, but I'll share with you that there have definitely been prayers said every night and during the day that I can get well soon and find my beloved wedding ring. I'm sorry for using my blog to complain - it's sort of therapeutic I guess. I'm also so so so thankful for all of you that have helped or even called to check on me. I have a wonderful support system and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful or appreciative of what is done for me and my family. Laurie - I love you and am so thankful for all that you do in addition to your own hectic life. You are a blessing to me in each and every way. Cory - there aren't words to express my gratitude for your love, patience and understanding as you carry the burden of two parents through this. Mom-You're my rock and I hope to be half of the mother to my boys that you are to me. To everyone else, thank you for all of the support.
Here's to the next weeks to come, getting through the healing process, adjusting to two kids instead of one and finding myself somewhere in all of that again.
 
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